Use of torture to extract posts

[Bill]

Henceforth (and forthwith of course), methods previously used only by fanatical monks attempting to root out heresy should be utilized to obtain posts from reluctant ex-members. There is no reasonable excuse for me having to see that there are no new posts here after staying away from the site for several weeks. I propose that extreme measures are called for to immediately increase content in this forum. Firstly, those who have failed to post regularly (or at all) should expect to have their feet slathered with animal fat and slowly roasted over hot coals until the bones fall out. If Mike cannot find enough large iron pokers (and pincers), I would happily donate one or two bubble forks. Modern technics that cause mostly mental duress (i.e. waterboarding) are probably insufficent. This situation calls for nothing short of the resurrection, in their entirety, of all the tools of the Inquisition. Hold nothing back. To the stake with everyone who fails to post!